Today I Choose To Acknowledge My Weight Problem

Today I Choose To Acknowledge My Weight Problem

The brunette feeling shame was looking at the scales on the glossy oak table in the law firm.

The redhead  in front of her was <what?> <patronizing?> <or criticizing?> the situation she was in, and the brunette felt squeamish and wanted to hide.

As the redhead picked up another block of gold, she directed her question to the woman with the weight problem.

Speaking clearly.

And deliberately.

She asked her with an educated woman’s poise.

“What

About

this?”

“Where

Do you think

I should

place

this?

The brunette being chastized lifted her eyes and wrung her hands, whilst motioning softly that it belonged on the right.

The redhead placed the gold onto the scales and they dropped even lower with a loud “clang” as the brunette felt her heart sink.

The scales were already well and truly overweight, and yet the brunette still had many more blocks of gold to be distributed before the climax.

The lawyer picked up another block of gold and asked again.

Asking clearly.

And deliberately with an educated woman’s poise.

“What

About

this?”

“Where

Do you think

I should

place

this?

The brunette felt her face flush, as shame turned into rage and she lashed out swiftly.

“On the right.” She said sharply.

“It goes on the right.

They all go on the right.

I’m sure you’ve realised that by now.

We’ve gone through this long enough now and I don’t know what you are trying to prove….

Why are you doing this to me?

Why are you making me feel this way?

What’s the purpose of it?

We already know why I’m here.

And you already know <or I’m sure you could summarize pretty quickly> that none of those pieces of gold belong on the other side of the scales.

And yet it doesn’t make sense.

I don’t understand it.

How is it possible that there can be such an uneven weight distribution?

How is it possible that all the weight and responsibility of everything is on my side?

I have the responsibility to pay everything.

Secure housing.

Pay groceries and utilities on a 3 bedroom home

I need to pay for education.

Shoes.

Clothes.

Everyday living.

I have no social life

Family life

Love life

Financial life

No retirement savings

No career or even just the ability to earn an income

I am isolated

Ostracised

Marginalised.

Every waking minute of the day, his time can be used to produce income.

Even after he finishes work.

Or on the weekends.

His financial position continues to climb.

Every waking minute of the day, my time is used to care for our shared responsibilities, and yet I am given no time to earn an income.

Instead of earning income with my minutes in the waking day, my time is spent on tasks that produce no income at all…and even if I could find employment in between the hours of caregiving….

I wouldn’t be able to keep that job, because I need to drop everything for school holidays.

Curriculum days.

Sick days.

I cant save because more than 100% of my income goes on rent and expenses leaving me in deficit every week, whilst he rents a room in a share house for $50.

I can’t get work because I can't access affordable childcare, and even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to hold the job, pick up and drop off the kids, cook, and clean, and bathe them and do homework, and have any kind of life.

My savings, and retirement pension has been drained to pay for the children because my weekly bills go over my income each week whilst his retirement savings continue to accumulate well into 6 figures.

He pays $25 a week legally to support the children, whilst I can't even get a carer for an hourly rate of that – and yet the state governs $25 is all he needs to pay for the privilege of me to bear the weight of all his responsibilities....

I have no quality of life.

My kids have no quality of life.

We are barely surviving, and yet his life is flourishing…he is living like a king!!

His retirement pension is accumulating.

He gets paid sick days.

Holidays.

He has a girlfriend.

Goes on holidays.

Has a fancy car

Friends he can see and talk to at whim.

He can socialise.

Exercise.

He is healthy, fit and somewhat mentally stable…..

And yet the gold is piled high on my side….

I am the one who has the weight problem…..

All the weight…..all the gold….it’s displaced unevenly to me….

And yet?

I am the one crumbling.

Buckling under the unbearable weight of it all.

I have the gold…but not the money.

He has the money….but not the gold.

And so here I am deteriorating in health and wealth rapidly….whilst his health and wealth is flourishing at lightning speed

So..please.

Spare me the torment any longer and just tell me!!!

Because I’m confused.

Why do I have all the gold?

And all of the weight?

Yet none of the financial compensation….

And yet, he has no gold.

No weight.

And all of the money?

The redhead waited until the brunette had finished her speech.

Then picked up another block of gold and asked:

“What

About

this?”

“Where

Do you think

I should

place

this?

The brunette rolled her eyes, then motioned to the right.

“On the right….” She said sarcastically.

“I can tell you right now….

They all go

On

The

Right.”

The redhead placed another block of gold onto the scales with a solid “clang” then picked up another block of gold and asked again….

“What

About

this?”

“Where

Do you think

I should

place

this?

The brunette rolled her eyes,

looked at the weight displacement of gold

and then stopped and considered thoughtfully.

That one

I'll keep

in 

trust."